This is based on the lives of 4 women I know personally who have been cheated by their husbands. I am not getting too much into the details, but all the 4 stories have had a pattern….
H and W get married…live well. Then the H turns and says “listen why do you not look after the family and be a housewife”. In some cases the wife said “I will stay at home” or the husband says “stay at home”.
So the 28 year old woman gives up her job and becomes a housewife. Great.
Then one fine day the wife finds out about the “other woman”. In one case it was after the “other woman” was pregnant.
None of my business. I am not passing a value judgement. Just saying that the spouse who wants to separate plans in advance and changes all the assets to single name. The other spouse will not know about this. I have seen women changing (when they wanted to leave their husbands for a different guy), and have seen men doing it too.
So how do women keep their independence in place if they give up their careers for looking after the family?
Well. I do not know. I would suggest the following:
The wife should take a salary from the H to look after her house/ their house whatever you want to call it.
What should she do other than this? Make sure that she is a joint holder of the property in which they live or a house of equivalent value in a location where she would like to live.
She should make sure that her husband’s life insurance policies are in her control and she sees her name as a nominee. No compromise on that. She should also ensure that SHE has enough cash flow to pay the premium on HIS LIFE. Her life insurance does not matter – she would be dead for it to be claimed.
She should have some investments at least which are in her name – the H could be the nominee. Make sure that there is at least one bank account where the W is the single holder.
If the parents of the W are dependent on her then there should be some life insurance in which her parents are the nominee.
What about the kids? Well it is the parents responsibility.
I know of fathers who have said “I do not have money” for their kids education. Our maid pays for the children’s education. I have no clue why he does not contribute, but I hear from her that he does not and she has to bear the costs herself.
Think about your financial independence and the financial fidelity of your husband before you chuck the job….